The Chronicles of Eternal Mana III and Interview By Kevin Hathaway

The Chronicles of Eternal Mana Pt. III
      By Kevin Hathaway

Later that night, Erin was sleeping comfortably in her sleeping bag, dreaming the night away, until...

A deep voice interrupted her dreams. "Don't say anything. You won't get hurt that way."

Erin gasped. "Who is that?!"

"Shh... just be quiet, and you won't get hurt!!'

"Who are you?!"

"I said be quiet!!!"

Erin shrieked.

The figure's face hit the light of the fire. It was Billy. "Yo, I said be quiet! How's it so hard to understand?!"

Erin breathed heavily. "What the hell, ya dumbass?! What was with the deep voice?!'

"That's my whispering voice! It just seems like the voice of a murderer. Sorry, shoulda told you..."

"Damn right, you shoulda told me! Scared the shit outta me, Billy!"

"Sorry.... You wanna just go for a walk in the forest?"

"Oooh, sounds romantic," said Erin.

"Actually, I just wanna do it before it gets turned into a Wal-Mart lot."

"Oh. Well, uh.... let's go, then, I guess."

So, they did. Billy took out his iPod. "Hmm... let's put this bad boy on shuffle." He then connected some speakers to the iPod, and let it do its shuffling work. Erin seemed just a little dumbfounded. "Umm.... what songs you got on there?"

"A buncha kick-ass songs. I put my faith in the shuffle option. It picks just the right songs for the situation. Ooh, I like this one! The Doors' 'Moonlight Drive!'"

They walked through the forest as the moon conveniently lay overhead to accompany the song. The owls hooted as Erin and Billy passed by. The deer frolicked playfully. The raccoons ate the decomposed/decomposing animals (eww....). After the song was over, The Doors' "Not to Touch the Earth" (man, Billy's got a lot of Doors on his iPod..... Now what would cause that to happen?) started.

Up in the trees, Hugh was hanging in the branches, having been suspicious since the two lovebirds met. He didn't want anything to happen to poor Erin, but he didn't want to be noticed, so he put his cop-learned stealth skills to the test. He tried to be as quiet as he could, which proved to be a challenge in the rustling leaves. Thankfully, Billy hadn't noticed thus far. He and Erin were too entranced in the power of The Doors. But, Billy felt a little concerned deep inside. Like someone was watching him........

Ah, well, he thought, and just walked on with his shoulder on Erin.

Hugh followed closely as the song tensified (if you need the feel, it's my profile song on MySpace...). Then, suddenly...

SNAP! A twig broke.

Billy heard it, and looked above. He saw Hugh attempting to hide in the leaves.

"RUN!! It's parental discretion!!" cried Billy as the mad organ solo started up. Then, Hugh did the unexpected....... his feral animal instincts kicked in, and he was going like mad through the forest, chasing Billy and Erin. They wisely split up, but Hugh went after Erin. Billy tried to get in close without hitting any trees (like an idiot would) so he could stop this madman from going through tree trunks and swinging off of branches. He grabbed a nice, big rock, and threw it when no trees were in his way. He hit him, and Hugh fell to the ground, but landed on his feet (like an animal... man, what the hell is he on?). Billy and Erin met up again, and Hugh got on all fours, ready to pounce. The lovebirds were by the forest exit, running faster and faster. Hugh got a running start, as they got closer. Then, Hugh took a giant leap. They were almost there...... but they might not make it....

"Go on ahead!" said Billy to Erin, "I'll hold him off!"

Erin did, as Billy grabbed a long branch from the tree next to him, and streeeeeeeeeetched it out as Hugh was still in the air. Just as Hugh was in his face, he let go of the branch.

BLAM! Right in mid-air! Muthafucka got knocked out! Wait....... he DID get knocked out like a muthafucka... Billy mouthed the words to the end of the song: "I am the lizard king... I can do anything...."

Erin came back."Is... he okay?......"

Billy was silent for a sec. "Uhh...... yeah, of course he's probabl--- Oh, God, his leg's twitching.... ehrm.... we should...... go..... I gues...."

They both backed away really, really, really slowly.

Then, they walked to a lake in the middle of the area. "Duuuuuuude....." said Billy, "you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Erin shrugged.


"Well, I just met you a matter of hours ago...."

"Yeah, but you made out with me," retorted Billy.

"What the hell?! You're already in there naked?!"

"Tcha, I'm good."

Erin just looked dumbfounded. She was hesitant to make such a jump so early in their relationship.... "I'm leaving on my bra and panties!"

Billy seemed just as excited (sick bastard).

Erin got in. The water was freezing. Billy had to laugh.

"*snicker!* I can see your frozen ta-ta's!"

"'Ta-ta's?' What are you, ten?"

"Noooooooo..... I'm fourteen... and a half!"

Erin rolled her eyes. But she didn't understand why she liked him..... was it his childish charm? Maybe.... she just knew that she liked him, and he liked her. While trapped in thought....

"Billy, why the fuck are you grabbing my boob?"


"My ta-ta... why're you grabbing it?"

"I'm only a man, Erin. A man has needs."

She could only sit there as he caressed her boob--- ta-ta. Then, outta nowhere, they made out again.

"What the fu---" But he didn't finish his sentence. He got trapped in her lips. It was romantic, in the water and all.

The night passed........ again.......

Then, morning came..... Erin and Billy were together in the same sleeping blanket (whoo whoo! Hotsa!) in the middle of the forest, with nobody around for a mile or two.

Erin slowly arose, and then Billy turned around. "You were awesome last night."

"OH, MY GOD!! DID WE?!----"

"Nah, just fucking with ya. We ain't do nothing, it just looks that way. We better get back to the camp site. Y'know, before somebody gets suspicious."

They walked back, and found Hugh still on the ground by the edge of the forest.

"OH, SHIT!!!!! I FORGOT ABOUT HIM!!!!! I thought he'd be fine!!!!!!!!!"

Hugh got up. "Well, you thought wrong, guv'nah!"

"'Guv'nah?' The hell? Why do you sound British?"

"I don't reckon I know, but I have quite the biggest hankering for some tea."

Billy and Erin stared at each other, thankful that he didn't ask what the hell they were doing in the forest. They followed him.

"Hey, Hugh, what's going on?"

He sounded American again. "Well, I had the craziest fucking dream last night......... I was like this animal with heightened feral instincts, and I was chasing these people through the forest..."

Billy quickly interrupted. "Oh, yeah, crazy shit, uh-huh, we should get back to Grampa and Kokoporo."

They did, and got treated with a shock. There was a cloaked man waiting by the fire with Grampa and Kokoporo in the bind of a rope.

Erin gasped. "That's the man who burned down my village!"

"Then he's the one who killed Kokoporo's master, too!" cried Billy. "Ohhhhhhhh, do I have some bones to pick with you, asshole!" He walked towards him. "Just who the fuck do you think you are burning down Erin's village? Who the fuck do you think you are killing Kokoporo's master? Just generally, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!"

He just looked at him, smiling. "I'm Danny Valentino. Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Billy. But need we introductions when one of us is going to kick the other's ass?!"

"Hmm, good point," said Danny, "I should get started on that."

"Oh, ha, ain't you clever?!" yelled Billy. His fist was trembling again, with pure rage.

"Hmm. I'm Danny Valentino, I do whatever the fuck I want, because I can do whatever the fuck I want. I hold the ability."

"YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST SO FUCKING COOL AND YOU'RE NOT!!" Billy's fist let loose. Danny went literally flying hundreds of feet into the air. "Dude, it's like the tree all over again! Where the hell did that come from?!"

Then, out of nowhere, Danny came back down, and slammed his fist into the ground where Billy was. A little sonic wave came out from under his fist. It was just that powerful. He moved away, where Billy's body lay. Then, Billy got up.

"Yo, man, that coulda hurt me, ya dickhead!"

"What?!?!? How the hell are you still alive?!"

Billy brushed his sleeves. Then he shrugged. "I dunno."

"How dare you seem so casual about it?! I challenge you to a fight for the spoon!

"The spoon? What the hell are you?!---" He looked to the campfire. "Oh, yeah, that thing. Okay, you're on, asshole!"

They immediately charged at each other inhumanly fast. When they clashed, a giant ball of smoke beckoned the area. Then, the fight took to the air (yes, swear to God, they both flew).

"Holy shit!" cried Erin, "Billy can fly!"

Hugh and Grampa just stared in amazement.

The two combatants were flying all over the place, unleashing beams and elemental balls and what have you. Then, Danny prepared a massive attack. He put his hands over his head, and used psychic abilities to move around almost everything. Entire mountains were being lifted off of their foundation. He was going to throw it all into a giant ball, and throw it at Billy. Billy had only one choice: Just beat the fucking shit outta this guy. Pummel away til he's bloody and bruised. He dove at him, but a force field prevented him from getting closer.

"Dammit! How the hell do I stop this guy?!"

Entire houses and forests were getting sucked into this mass. Billy just didn't know what to do. Cars, bits of highway..... anything near the area was getting absorbed into this weapon of mass destruction. But our heroes were thankfully spared (whew!). Although Billy wouldn't be unless he did something...... then, it was ready. Danny tossed the ball, and Billy tried to catch it, but instead just flew back. He tried to slow himself down so he could toss the ball back. He did, and charged up for a really hard throw-back.

"NNNGEH!!!!" He tossed it as hard as he could, with all the debris inside still intact. It was thrown hard and fast (that's what she said last night! Buuuuuuuurn!), so Danny almost didn't see it coming. But he just barely dodged it all, that giant mass of radom stuff. While dodging, he was vulnerable for just half a second, and Billy took it to ram his ass. They both were heading towards a volcano.


They ran right into the side of it, and some lava oozed out, but somehow, Danny and Billy were unaffected by the insanely high heat. They instead just readied opposing power balls, and fired them, and lava literally burst from the top of the volcano. It trickled over the side. And remember the massive ball of random stuff? Yeah, they passed it up hitting the volcano, which it was all now heading towards. (whuh-oh....)

Billy and Danny were fighting in the volcano, when they did another match of power balls, and they blew up the entire thing. At the exact same moment, all that stuff from the massive ball was coming in, and molten lava and steel pipes don't exactly mix........ one went straight through Danny. He looked dead-eyed, then snapped his fingers. The pipe disappeared, and any sign of an injury was nowhere to be seen. Billy was staring wide-eyed, and speechless. He recovered from an injury with the snap of a finger!! How the hell?!---

BAM! Danny pummeled him with an iron fist. Billy flew back a few hundred yards.

Then, Danny did the unthinkable.... "I summon thee! ODIN!!"

"Holy shit!" cried Billy, "that big horse dude from the Final Fantasy series?!"

"Hell, yeah!" said Danny. "I might even say I pale in comparison to him!"

"Fuck," said Billy under his breath.


"Man, how'd I become this guy's enemy so fast?"


The skies grew gray. Lightining struck the earth. Then, he came out of the clouds on his majestic horse. He hit the ground, hunting for his prey. Then, he found him, and pointed his axe at Billy.

"Shit," he said softly.

The horse galloped towards him. That's when he started running. (THAT'S when?! Shit, I'd have ran the second them clouds got gray!) Odin threw his axe at Billy. He skillfully dodged it as it boomeranged back to Odin (damn, Odin's good if he can make an axe come back to him). Next, Odin took a giant leap into the air, ready to make a pounce on Billy.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit....." said Billy quickly as Odin came closer to the ground where he was running. Then, just milliseconds before he hit, Billy got outta the way. Odin landed, sending shockwaves, and sending up dirt throughout the area. When the dirt and dust cleared, Odin saw Billy running up a mountain. He said, "Oh, hell, no that little muthafucka ain't....." (well, I know he was thinking it!) So, he took another giant leap, this one towards the mountain. He threw his axe again, this time, with more power. He threw it right at the point where Billy was running up the mountain. The axe hit powerfully, and rocks were falling everywhere. Billy soon realized that part of Odin's power was his axe, so if he could wield it, he'd be good. So, when he found it between the falling rocks, he picked it up, and swung that mother! He just swung it again and again and again and again....... then, POW!!!!! He hit Odin! Hard! And the mighty god fell down the mountain, bloodying up with each crag he hit. Finally, Odin hit the bottom of the mountain. He wasn't breathing. He was almost unrecognizable because of his injuries. He was dead. The mighty Odin was dead. Billy slowly went down the mountain, making sure Odin wasn't psyching him out. He got to the bottom, and he was still motionless.

"Niiiiiiiiiiiice......" said Billy at long last.

Then, over the horizon, Hugh, Erin, Grampa and Kokoporo came towards him.

"Hey, guys---" started Billy.

"That prick-ass kid stole the spoon from us!" cried Grampa.

"Aw, that sonofafuck!" shouted Billy. "I didn't even unleash my true power!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What's your true power?" asked Hugh.

Billy shrugged. "I dunno. Gotta find out. Maybe I can summon some kickass creatures, too... like Bahamut Zero! Duuuuuuuuuuude..........."

Hugh rolled his eyes.

"But where do we get the spoon back? Where do we find this pompous prick?"

"I hear," said Hugh, "he rides around in a giant blimp. Pretty conspicuous-looking thing."

"Shouldn't be hard to find him, then! Goddamn douchebag!"

"Yeesh," muttered Grampa, "it's like a sibling rivalry gone to hell!"

"Aw, man, this guy's REALLY gonna get it!!" cried Billy, and marched forth, looking for the big blimp. The others followed, knowing there was no stopping Billy on his cause--- to stop Danny Valentino.



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Interview with KHat

From: KHat
Date: Mar 28, 2007 11:51 PM

".......... Well, what'd ya think of the three parts put up so far?" ("I'm expecting a total 12 parts when it's complete")

From: KHat 
Date: Mar 29, 2007 12:02 AM

"Yeah....... that's a lot. And there will be a lot of twists (in the next one) ...... I like Part 3, also! Epic battles, that one forest chase using the song from my profile (God, I love that song)........ the Wal-Mart crack in the beginning.... (heehee...)"
"3 is probably the most like what the rest of the series will be like. "

From: KHat
Date: Mar 28, 2007 10:43 PM

"Hmm...... more fans, eh?.........."  "Well, okay." "The next one should be up within the next three weeks, I'd say."

Master of the Custodial Arts
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